some things you just know .cancer.

I were very young, the first time I were concerned about cancer. I were so worried about cancer so I went to my doctor with my problem. But the doctor refused to listen to me, and told me I were too young to get cancer. So I tried to let it go.

During the years, there were other familymembers which got cancer of different kinds, but also breast cancer. I didnt do anything with my worries, not before my mother got the diagnosis also. And I could not ignore it anymore. The feeling I had in my breast, and the changes I could see in my skin with my bare eye. And the lump I could feel. And in spite of everything, about how lucky I am, I know I should have gone to see my doctor before.

Because I had been worried for breast cancer in so many years, I had been thinking about how I would solve my possible breast cancer problem. I therefore knew very early, that I would choose to undergo mastectomy on both sides. Mine breast have been of a large size since I became a woman, and I never really liked how men only would focus so much on my breast, and not see me, for who I really am. So I told someone how I felt about it, that I really would not mind it IF I really had got breast cancer. The response I got back were shocked comments, showing that this person did not really understand any of my humor and my sarcasm about my own breast and about those men which stare at them. Maybe this person have never really understood the problem, or got any personal insight with what breast cancer and other breast problems really means. And the more I read about cancer and breast surgery, the more steady on my decision I became. Please, do learn to really listen to the person in front of you, instead of judging just because you dont understand.

Now I have undergone two mastectomy operations. My first breast were taken last year, and the second this spring. Which is partly the reason why I have not update my blog so much. I have not undergone chemo, and I do not take any medicine for breast cancer. My cancer were so small, that I discovered I had the freedom to choose. And there are only regularly health control by now, to be sure everything are fine.

How I feel now. I feel no sorrow for undergoing a total mastectomy. I feel free from that burden where cancer could come back in my breast. Then, I am also free from the weight of them, which feels like a relief. I'm getting better day by day and cancer is not something I feel is any big deal for me. There are many diseases in this world, and now I got rid of one of them. For now. Besides, it is funny to see how other people react to illness and cancer. My response to them are just: Oh, really??

If there is anything I would like to say, it is this: Any person undergoing breast cancer, should have the right to choose full mastectomy or not. Even in these times of popularity of full breast reconstruction. Because when I told the hospital doctors that I did not want any reconstruction with all the problems and extra operations that follows, they did not believe me. As a woman I am suposed to wish back my breast, at any cost. But not every woman have the same wishes.

But then, what if I dont want to reconstruct any of mine breast? What if I dont want to undergo several operations to create some fake breast of my skin, muscles or fat from another part of my body? And then, what if I needed silicon? "Come back after 10 years if everything go fine and we will replace the silicon.." Which means more surgery. Or, if you remove only parts of your breast or takes a full mastectomy of one side, and never feel strong enough to speak out about taking full mastectomy both sides, "here are a paper which give you right to get a special fitted bh and a silicon fitted to it.." Forget to mention the cost of it every year, or if it get broken.

So, what if you dont want any of this?
What if you want a more simple life in spite of everything.

Why must women with cancer struggle with the public system about their own body and health?
Why must anyone struggle at all?

I told them I wanted full mastectomy, when I arrived the hospital. The answer I got were that they do not remove healthy breast. Personally, I think this answer is a very stupid way to solve problems for breast cancer patients. A woman with cancer do mostly undergo chemo, and a lot of other treatments, if she do not dare to speak out for her self, and also do not know what can be the coming health problems after this treatment. Breast reconstructions should not means that women like me have to fight just to get cancer breast simply removed. Not every woman care about having a valley on their chest..

I hope you see my point.
And remember, I talk about my experiences and how I see things.
Do take a breast reconstruction if you want to, but remember, you dont have to do that, to still be a woman.

I had breast cancer. But I'm not my breast.

This is my breast cancer story, and my thoughts during the past years.

ok, i got it

Some of my pictures from my instagram about Bergen and the nature.

Instagram can be fun. And I like it. I just wish there were more possibilities about editing text, pictures and to protect and document the owners of the pictures. I notice there are many users which post other pictures as their own and takes every credit for it.

Crop and tell a lie,
that seems to be the big thing for some users just to receive positive feedbacks,
which do not belong to them at all.

And therefore there should be a way to make sure an electronical signature would follow every picture, and to make it easy to know who really own the credit.

Apart from that, instagram seems to be an easy and positive way to share your own world.

I prepare myself for a little bit different interior style.

And I fell in love with an policecar!
It's an old toy car of metal, in black and white.

So, I see you on instagram if you are there!

my peace-dreamcatcher

My selfmade peace-dreamcatcher!

You will need:
Cotton string.
Something which is around. I took a piece from an old lampshade I had stored at home.

Use strong tool to cut of the part you will need.

To start with, make a small ball of at least 4 meters of tread. My circle were about 20 cm diameter.
Start with the simple hanging knot, then simple knots all the way around.

With the excess thread create a tight line straight down, buzzes the firm and up to the starting point and tie it tight again. Let an extra bit hanging down with the two strands which are now lashed. 

Then cut a new thread about 4 meters long, fasten it with a simple knot at the loop top, then start to tie a simple knot makrame down where peace symbol splits up. Let the threads lead to either side, attached and led back to the last makrame node, to proceed more to tie makrame-knots the rest of the vertical part of the peace symbol. Ties as fixed in the ring and let the rest of the thread hang. 

Then cut two new threads, about 1.5 meters long. Leave about 40 cm hang freely, which will beads and feathers tied fixed later. Tie the ring, tie makrame-knots on the rest of the thread. Tie. 

Finally, attach beads and feathers on threads that are already ready for this purpose.

Thats it!


There might be some wrong in this translation, but here is everything in norwegian:

Du trenger:
Noe som er rundt. Jeg tok en bit fra en gammel lampeskjerm jeg hadde lagret hjemme. 

Bruk sterkt verktøy til å kutte av den delen du trenger.

Begynn med den enkle opphengsknuten, deretter enkle knuter hele veien rundt

Med den overflødige tråden lager du en stram tråd rett ned, surrer den fast og opp til utgangspunktet og knyter den fast igjen. La en ekstra bit henge ned med de to trådene som nå er surret fast. 

Klipp deretter en ny tråd ca 4 meter lang, fest den med en enkel knute ved hempen øverst, begynn så å knyte en enkel makrame-knute ned der peace-symbolet deler seg opp. La trådene føre til hver sin side, festes og ledes tilbake til den siste makrame-knuten, for å fortsette mer å knyte makrame-knuter resten av den loddrette delen av peace-symbolet. Knytes så fast i ringen, og la resten av tråden henge. 

Klipp så 2 nye tråder, ca 1,5 meter lange. La ca 40 cm henge fritt, der skal perler og fjær knytes fast senere. Knyt fast til ringen, knyt makrame-knuter på resten av tråden. Knyt fast.

Tilslutt festes perler og fjær på trådene som allerede er klar til dette formålet.

magic inside me

I think I have found some magic inside me.
I suddenly likes black, grey and white in a beautiful mix at home.
Just hope I can make my own style out of this.
And not becoming another copycat..

Cup from Sisters Grene.

collected inspiration in a book

I don't really like storing a lot of interior and lifestyles magazines here and there in my home. I prefer pretty much to cut or rip out my favourite parts of the magazine, and store them somewhere. But then I found a cute book, and I got this idea. I took the most inspiring parts of my magazines, and glued them up in my book in several themes. Like home, entrance, livingroom, travels, food, health. And make sure to leave a lot of blank pages between every theme for coming images in future.

So this is what you can do with your old magazines before you throw them. And if you dont buy such magazines, you will often find some in a local thrift store.

What do you think?

What you will need:
Favourite magazines
Paper glue or double sided tape
A book of chosen size and style.

When you cut or rips out from the magazines, you can try not to think about the book. Just cut or rip out anything you fancy there and then. Later you can sort everything and choose what to glue into your book.

Remember to look for letters you can use to write your name or anything else!

okay let's try instagram

Okay, here I am.

A bit frightened, on the doorstep to a new unknown world..

happyhealthy and media

Are you happyhealthy and do you post it on facebook, twitter, instagram or a blog?
Good for you!

Are you sad and doing the same?
Good for you!

And if you don't do any of this..
It is also good for you!

Nobody can tell you what is right for you. Like I never really can tell what is right for anyone else than me.

Many people in norwegian media have become arrested by other people for what they call fake happy shit. The same people also arrest people which post sad comments about their life.

Which make me think this:
What the hell is wrong with all of you today??!?

Why you are so critical to what other people do on their media? Why do you think you are so much better just because you dont have the need for posting your ups and downs in any social media?

Why all this crap?

Ok, I don't have facebook, but I blog. I can choose whatever I would like to post on my social media. Just like on facebook really.. But I can't see anything wrong with sharing cute pictures, and sad glimpses of life. Because if we never tells the world around us some of our truth, our hopes and dreams, it will hit back on our self.

Happiness is a part of our life. Sadness and sorrows follows closely.
And if you have a problem with seeing other people in happiness and sadness, then maybe you are the one having a problem.

And not the one who decide to tell the world his own truth.

To pretend that you are happy? Maybe some do yes.
But sharing that on social media is not the biggest problem we have in our world today.

True happy and true sad people, they don't care what you babble about.
True and real people, they do what they want.

Deal with it.

Peace and Love!


what's on your mind?

Watch this one!
That's why I stay away from facebook!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

This film is produced by HigtonBros.
Tell them what you think!

you are my everlasting love

I remember the first time I fall in love with you.
I was young.
Very young.

When I first got my eye on you,
I could never stop looking for you.
Whereever I was.

Every time I saw you, my heart got filled up with an so pleasant desire.
With an awareness, that I would never let you go.
Because you were so right.
For me.

From the first moment, I made a place for you in my heart.
And I knew, noone could ever take your place.

And over the years, my love for you are stronger than ever before.
Nothing can give me the peace and love, like you do.
Nothing can give me more hope for what will come, like you do.

Nothing get me feel more home, like you do. 

Who you are?

The color which is no color at all.
I love you.

Interior details: A mirror named Spring, an white police car, white flowered vase, one small white glas saucer, love and peace button and plastic flower decoration are all from a local thrift store. White wooden pearls heart from a lokal flower store, white Buddha from a sale in an Indiska shop, white round vase are from an fragrance oil pack, from Kremmerhuset. All purcases are private, and therefore no advertising.